Leaving the Past Behind: 1 Innocence
by Chibi Pikapuff
Summary: Two people's lives change in ways they never imagined, when a stranger named Ice enters their lives.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own 'The Tribe'. However all the characters featured are my own and therefore belong to me.

This is a story about the ones who couldn't leave. The ones who couldn't bare the thought of the places they grew up in turning into ruins. The ones who's past memories drew them to stay in the place where they had lived in normality for so long…

Prologue

A young boy was playing. Unaware of the suffering. Unaware of the pain. Unaware of everything except fun and laughter. As he kicked the football to his friend, a slightly older and certainly less naïve child, he spoke:

"I'm just going to go and fetch Jamie. He likes football. He'll want to see your new one." With that he turned and sprinted towards a large house on the edge of the estate. He was breathing heavily as he knocked on the big oak doors of the house.

"Jamie, wanna come out and play?" the innocent young boy spoke as an older guy answered the door.

"I can't," Jamie said with tears in his eyes. "It's my parents. The virus got them. They're dying."

"But Jay got a new football…" Jamie looked at him, his heart breaking. Zak was so young, so innocent. He didn't understand. He couldn't see the devastation going on around him. Jamie ached with pain, his thoughts turning to the time when Zak's parents would join his. He knew one thing. When that moment arrived Zak would need him, and Jamie had to be ready to help…


	2. Chapter One

Chapter One

"Zak, where are you?" Jamie shouted from the doorway. "Dinners ready."

There was no answer. Jamie smiled. Zak would be so busy playing with his friends he'd be oblivious to his calling. He was just about to go indoors when he heard the familiar sound of running and a figure stopped in the doorway: A small boy with green hair styled in spikes, wearing a red T Shirt which had once belonged to Jamie and was far too big for him, and a pair of jeans, which were the opposite to the T Shirt and fell just below his knees. His name was Zak, one of the youngest kids on the estate and certainly the most innocent.

"I thought you were out playing?" Jamie commented.

"You said dinner was ready so I came," Zak replied. Jamie smiled. He should have known Zak's ears would pick up that word, he may only have been young but he had the appetite of a teenager. 

"Come on in then before it gets cold." Jamie smiled once again. "You go and eat, I'm going out. I'll be back soon."

"Are you going to your girlfriends?" Zak asked, a cheeky smile forming on his face.

"Yes, I'm going to my girlfriends," Jamie rolled his eyes. He had known Joelle since she had moved into the estate about two years before the virus had started. He had wished to be her girlfriend since then but still they remained 'just' friends. Still, he hadn't given up. He was determined that one day what Zak had said would be true. 

Joelle was humming softly to herself as she lay on her bed reading a magazine. She didn't know why she carried on reading them. All they did was remind her of the old times. Every time she read one she thought of the people who had written it, and the fact they were never going to print another. She felt tears coming to her eyes and quickly wiped them away, she couldn't stand crying; it made her look like a wimp.  Just as she had stopped the tears from flowing there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," she said loudly. The door opened and Jamie wandered in. "Who let you in?" she said.

"I let myself in. Sorry." He blushed slightly.

"How did you get in?" she said, panicked.

"Er… Through the door."

"What?!" she shrieked. "I thought I locked it. Anyone could have wandered in!" With that she got to her feet and raced from the room. Jamie grinned, sighed and followed her down to the kitchen. By the time he arrived she had already locked the door securely with two locks and put a pan on the gas stove to boil some water.

"So what's gotten you so stressed out then?" Jamie asked.

"Don't be stupid, I don't get stressed."

"Oh come on!" he commented. "You almost jumped out of your skin when I said I'd come in through the door."

"OK," she admitted. "But don't tell Zak, I don't want him worrying. The scouts have seen someone suspicious hanging around the outside the estate. Watching people going in and out. I don't want him wandering in here and murdering me while I'm asleep or something!"

"If he's been hanging round for a while then why has no one gone and had a word with him?!" Jamie was beginning to get annoyed.

"None of us like fighting," she replied. "We don't want a war. As long as he's not doing anything to harm us then he's fine there for now."

"But you're scared. What right does this stranger have to force us to lock our doors? We've never had to before."

"Then we were careless weren't we? We shouldn't have kidded ourselves that we live in a perfect existence."

Jamie gave up arguing. There was no point trying to win against Joelle. She was strong and could keep going for days without giving in. So he changed the subject.

"Zak was asking about you today," he said suddenly.

"Awww bless him," she smiled. "What did he say?"

Jamie thought about it hard before speaking: "He wanted to know if you were my girlfriend."

"Ha ha!" she laughed. "And what did you tell him?"

"Nothing. I rolled my eyes at him," Jamie began to blush.

"Then you reacted perfectly. I mean, me and you, girlfriend and boyfriend?!" she laughed. "We've known each other far too long for that." Jamie felt his heart sink as the words came from her mouth. For so long he had hoped that there would some day be something between them, and now these hopes had been dashed.

"I'd better get back to Zak," he mumbled and left the house without another word.


	3. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Jamie slammed the door. He forgot all about what Joelle had said about locking it, and he completely ignored Zak as he made his way upstairs to his room. He didn't make it that far. He was drawn to a door next to the door to his room. One that had a plaque on the door saying "Rachel's Room". As he stopped he wondered why he had been drawn to that room. He hadn't been in there since… since three years before the virus when his sister had died. But now he found himself opening the door. It was the same it had been all those years ago, slightly dustier but that was only to be expected. He sneezed as the dust reached his nostrils but carried on into the room despite himself. He sat on the bed, ignoring the cloud of dust that rose from it, and looked the room.

"Why?" he said to himself. "Why did you do it Rachel?" he continued as tears came to his eyes. As he sat there he suddenly became aware that he was sitting on something, something hard. He stood up and pulled the duvet off the bed, Lying there, as if it had always been there, was a hard backed book with the words "Rachel's diary" written in neat writing across the front.

"I didn't know she had this…" he spoke and opened the book slowly.

*Why me? I used to be popular. So why do I suddenly find myself with no one? Why, when I used to sit in a group at lunch, find myself in the corner on a table on my own, watching the people who used to be my friends sitting together without me. It's been going on for a couple of weeks now. I went into school after the holidays to find them completely ignoring me. I thought I must have done something wrong, something to make them stop speaking to me, so I asked them. They laughed. Didn't say a thing, just laughed and laughed. Even then I wasn't upset. I assumed they'd tell me in time and I could apologise. Two days later they were still doing it. Yet they were getting worse. Now they humiliated me, put me down in front of big groups of people. That was when it begun to hit me. These people who had once been my friends hated me, and I didn't know why. I asked them time and time again what it was that I'd done but they wouldn't tell me…*

Jamie read on…

*I should tell Jamie. He'd help me. He'd find out what I'd done to make these people hate me. But I can't. He's dealing with his own problems; I don't want him to have mine to deal with as well. No. I'll work it out on my own. I'll stop them being nasty to me, if I can.*

Jamie stopped. He didn't want to read on. He knew he would eventually. He had to know the truth. He needed to know what had led his sister to take her own life. But he couldn't read on now. His cheeks were already wet with tears and he didn't want to cry any more. He heard the faint sound of someone knocking on the door downstairs. Why can't people ever leave me in peace? He thought. He stood up slowly as the knocking persisted and began to wonder where Zak had got to. As he neared the door he saw a blurred image of Joelle through the glass. He sighed. He really didn't need this right now. He opened the door.

"What happened to you earlier?" she said immediately. "You disappeared with hardly a word!"

"It's not against the law is it?" he replied, annoyed.

"What's with you today?" she asked, a look of genuine concern on her face.

"Nothing. I'm fine. I just want a bit of peace now and again."

"If that's what you want then I'll go," she said, although it was obvious in the way she spoke that she would prefer to stay.

"OK then. Bye," he answered, and shut the door in her face. As he walked back up the stairs Joelle stood on the doorstep for a couple of seconds, a confused expression on her face, before turning and walking away.


	4. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

A stranger entered the housing estate from the eastern entrance. It was a rare occurrence, not many people ventured there. As the word spread people stopped what they were doing to see. was tall, but less than six feet. He had hair the colour of the sky on a sunny day that flowed almost down to his thighs. He was wearing a long leather jacket that finished way below his hair, almost dragging on the floor. Everyone stopped and stared. Someone entering the estate was a rare event, but someone of his stature, or apparent importance was almost unheard of. 

"Shouldn't someone go and ask what he's doing here?" one of the kids on the estate asked.

"He looks like trouble to me," said another. "They always told us not to get involved with troublemakers. But we can't just let him wander in."

"You're right. We live in peace here, we don't want any trouble. Jamie said there had been a guy watching us for weeks, maybe that's him."

"He's been watching us?!" a girl said. "Yuk, I don't like that at all.  I don't feel safe having people watching me… He is rather nice looking though."

"Don't be stupid! That's exactly what he wants. He wants people to fall in love with him and trust him before he murders you!"

"You don't know that!" she protested.

"I saw it on a movie once," he replied. "The guy looked kind of like that too." The girl shuddered.

No one dared to go up to him, they were all too scared and awestruck, but Joelle was forced into it unexpectedly. Just coming out of Jamie's garden she literally bumped into him, her mind somewhere else. 

"Oh… er… sorry," she mumbled, looking at the ground.

"Hey, it's OK," the guy grinned. Joelle looked up and suddenly found herself compelled to his eyes. They were ao blue they almost matched his hair, and deeper than the ocean. Realising she was staring she turned away from him and tried to regain her composure.

"Sorry, " she said again, blushing.

"You apologise a lot, don't you?" he smiled a soft smile. "Aren't you going to tell me your name?"

"Jo… Joelle," she managed to say.

"That's a pretty name. It's perfect for you." Joelle blushed once again. "So…" he continued. "You want to show me around?"

"Sure," she said, becoming less nervous.

"Do me a favour though. Stop these scary people from staring at me. I'm not an exhibit," he laughed.

"Guys!" she shouted in the loudest voice she could muster. "Go home!" She grinned as people began to scatter. Perhaps people were more scared of her, she thought. 

"I just realised, I don't know your name," she said.

"My friends call me Ice," he replied mysteriously. As they walked off, Ice put his arm round Joelle's waist, and Jamie looked on from his bedroom window, a disgusted look on his face and tears in his eyes.

"Joelle!" a voice shouted as her and Ice made their way around the estate. She looked round to see a ten year old boy running up to them. He looked slightly nervous when he saw Ice standing next to her, but carried on until he reached them.

"What is it Lee?" she said to the boy, slightly annoyed about being interrupted. 

"Zak stole sweets from Ash's house. I saw him doing it!" he announced proudly.

"He did?" Joelle was confused. Zak was usually such a good boy.

"Yeah, and I was watching, but when Zak ran away from the house Ash spotted me and told me off."

"All right," she sighed. "I'll have a word with Zak and see what I can get out of him."

"OK," the boy said. "Thanks." He ran off again, and as she watched him go she spotted Zak watching them from round a corner. As she shouted him, he disappeared.

"I'm sorry Ice…" she trailed off.

"I understand. You go and sort the kid out," he smiled. 

"You know where my house is right?" she said. "Wait outside for me, I'll be back." She ran off towards Jamie's house.

"Jamie," Joelle said as she entered the pigsty that was his house. 

"What?" he said, annoyed. "Why can't people just leave me alone?"

"It's Zak. Some of the other kids say he's been causing trouble again. I thought you -" 

"Well you 'thought' wrong. I'm not his father you know," he said, bitterly.

"I've been thinking. You can't cope with him on your own any more. You've got enough to cope with looking after the house. After all, it is the biggest on the estate and not easy for someone living on their own."

"I'm fine!" Jamie shouted. "I swore I'd look after him after his parents died and that's exactly what I'm doing! So stop with the advice and leave me be." He stood up and making his way through the obstacles in his way, left the room. As he left, a figure ran into the room. Zak.

"You didn't tell him did you?" Zak asked in his quiet voice. "I didn't do anything, honest I didn't. It was Lee."

"Are you telling the truth kiddie?" Joelle asked, sitting Zak on her knee and playing with his hair.

"I'm not a kiddie any more," he remarked, his voice still innocent. "I'm a growed up." He pushed her hand away from his hair and jumped to his feet. Joelle couldn't help but smile. He pretended he was big and tough but his quiet naïve voice gave him away.

"What did Lee do?" she asked, still smiling.

"He stole sweets, from Ash's home, and then he told everyone I did it." Zak said, tears in his eyes. Joelle believed him immediately.

"Are Lee and his friends picking on you darling?" her voice became serious. Zak nodded his head and the tears in his eyes began to roll simultaneously down his cheeks. "Why didn't you tell Jamie?" she continued. "He would have helped."

"I wanted to. He's been so cranky lately. He's different," he said quietly.

"Different? How?" Joelle prompted.

"Like he doesn't care about me anymore," Zak admitted. Joelle stood up and put Zak back on her knee. She didn't care how tough he thought he was, he was hurting. This time he didn't try to stop her.

"You know that's not true don't you?" she looked at him and wiped a teardrop from his cheek. "He's just got some… problems." And she knew she was right. She just wished she knew what they were…


	5. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

When Joelle reached her house Ice was waiting outside as she had told him. She felt her heart skip a beat as he looked up and noticed her. He was amazing. He came across as tough and heartless, which was why most people had been scared of him, but underneath that exterior was a heart of gold. While they had been walking he had told her a lot about his life before the virus. As she was about to approach him she decided against it, and instead, hid round a corner so she could see his every move. As she watched him pacing up and down the garden she recalled their conversation earlier.

*"So," she asked. "What was your life like before the virus? Or shouldn't I ask?"

"Nah I haven't got any secrets. It was just me and my mum. I never had a dad. He left mum when he found out she was pregnant. He couldn't handle the prospects of fatherhood. We were happy though and I was never curious about who my dad was, I had a mum who loved me and that was good enough for me. I had to look after her most of the time. She suffered from MS and had problems walking a lot of the time. So I helped her out. Did the housework, cooked a lot. Then the virus struck. It was weird. For years I'd been helping her, I'd had a routine. Then she was gone and I didn't know what to do with myself. I left the house and travelled, wandering from town to town, city to city. But I was never comfortable in any of them. Until now. This place is… Amazing. Here I can have my own responsibilities. And I'd like to stay, if you'd like me to that is."

Joelle had been lost for words. She couldn't believe these passionate words were coming from his mouth. She realised the toughness was an act. To survive in this world you had to be strong. She thought about his question. Did she want him to stay? Did she even have to ask herself that question? Course she didn't! Of course she wanted him to stay.

"I'd love you to stay," she echoed what her mind had been saying to her. He smiled.

"I'm glad," he said. "I couldn't bare to have to leave now."

They were on the brink of kissing when a voice called her name…*

A noise brought Joelle back into reality. She glanced at Ice. He was kneeling on the floor by one of the front windows to her house. She squinted slightly to see what he was doing. He appeared to be looking at something on the ground.

"Awww you poor thing," he was saying. "Don't be scared. I'm not going to hurt you."

Who was he talking to, Joelle wondered. Her eyes were beginning to ache from her squinting so she proceeded to move closer to him. When she was as close as she could be without him noticing her she watched. It was only then that she realised what was doing. In its confusion, a young bird had flown into the window pane, mistaking it for a gap. It was now lying stunned on the floor. Ice had noticed and was now sympathetically tending to it. Joelle's heart melted as she stood there viewing him knelt down there murmuring quietly to the dazed creature. He cupped the bird in his hand and sat up, delicately stroking it with his finger as if it was made of glass. After doing this a couple of times he opened his jacket and put the bird inside to keep it warm. He continued talking to it throughout. This proved it to Joelle. Ice was the most caring person she had ever seen. He hadn't been putting a show on for anyone by tending to that bird, he hadn't known that anyone was watching. He had done it out of the kindness of his heart. She realised with a beating heart that she was in love…

"Hey," a  quiet voice spoke from behind her. Joelle almost jumped out of her skin. She turned  round. It was Jamie. Without speaking she got to her feet and pulled him away to somewhere where Ice wouldn't hear.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I just wanted to apologise to you about earlier. I didn't mean to be so mad."

"I forgive you," she replied simply. "I just wish I knew what was up with you. You've been weird lately, even Zak's noticed."

"It's OK. I'm fine. I don't have any problems, no problems."

"OK," she gave in although she knew he was lying.

"So who's that?" Jamie pointed to Ice who was still tending to the bird.

"It's Ice. He entered the estate this morning."

"Ice? What sort of stupid name is that?" Jamie scoffed.

"Hey, don't knock him. Can you see him with that bird?"

"Yeah, so?"

"He acts so tough and yet inside he's so sweet!"

"Yuk"" Jamie announced.

"Awwww," Joelle looked at him. "You're not jealous are you?"

"No… No of course not," he replied, looking away.

"That's OK then," she grinned. "Anyway, I guess I'd better be getting back to him. I'll pop round to yours later OK?"

"Whatever," he muttered as he watched her join Ice by the front door before sneaking away.

"Hi," Joelle said as she approached Ice, blushing slightly.

"Oh, hi. I thought you weren't coming."

"Yeah sorry I got held up," she lied. "What's that?" she asked, pointing to the bulge in his coat.

"Poor little thing," Ice said sympathetically, producing the bird from his coat. "It flew straight into the window."

Joelle stood up and unlocked the front door to her house. As she walked in she glanced back at Ice. "Come in," she said.

"Are you sure?" he replied.

"Yeah cause. We've got to help that bird haven't we?" she smiled softly as he followed her indoors, cradling the bird in his hands. 

 As she produced a shoe box from a cupboard in the kitchen she watched him. He placed the bird carefully in the box, still murmuring to it as he had been earlier. Once again her heart melted as she watched him wrapping the animal in a cloth she had found.

"Ice," she said quietly as not to startle the bird.

"Yeah?" he said, turning his head towards her. As he moved closer she lifted her head and kissed him passionately on the lips. He didn't complain; he just smiled and kissed her back. They remained locked together for about a minute before Joelle pulled away.

"I'm going to have to get on," she said reluctantly. "I'm making dinner for some of the younger kids today, I need to make a start."

"You need some help?" he asked. "I'm a surprisingly good cook."

"That'd be great," she said, smiling at the thought of having him around for longer.


	6. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Jamie was back in Rachel's room. He hadn't wanted to go back there but he needed to carry on reading her diary. He had already been in once and gotten rid of some of the dust that was swamping the room: It didn't seem right for it to go to ruins. Now he was sitting on the bed, exactly as she would have been years ago writing in the book he was now holding in his hand.

*I don't know how much longer I can go on with this. Even just watching the people in school laughing and joking with their friends makes me cry. Because it just reminds me that I haven't got this. I'm the girl sitting in the corner on her own not talking to anyone. They're getting worse. Every day. I can't stop them. Even if I had once had the confidence to stick up for myself that's all gone. It's as if I'm a different person. Like I was an owl and now I'm a mouse. How can I stop it? Maybe the only way is for me not to be here anymore. There's no pain in heaven. No tears. No… evil. I tried to tell Jamie today. He's got his own problems. He wouldn't listen. No one is listening. Mum and dad are too busy working. It's not their fault, they have two kids to bring up. It looks like I'm on my own…*

Jamie gasped. He remembered that day. It was the day he'd had that big argument with his parents. He'd come home and gone upto his room. A few moments later Rachel had knocked on his door. She'd been crying, he could tell by her voice. But he sent her away. He was too wrapped up in his own problems to realise that his sister needed help. It was only a few weeks after that when he wandered into her room to find her lying on the bed, dead. Maybe if he'd listened to her that day she wouldn't have thought she only had one way out. Maybe if he'd listened to her she'd still be alive now, helping him look after Zak. But he hadn't. It was too late now. Nothing he could say or do was going to bring her back. He put the diary back under the covers where she had once slept; it belonged there, and would be forever.

"Jamie," Zak knocked on the doors with his delicate hand. Jamie looked up. It was only then he realised there were tears on his cheeks. He wiped them away absentmindedly and went to open the door. He had realised something. Life was too short to put things off. He had decided. He was going to tell Joelle how he felt about her. That he loved her.

"Hi Zak," he smiled. "What is it?"

"Why are you in here?" Zak was confused. Jamie had always told him this room was forbidden to enter.

"Oh. Just… remembering," he replied. "What was it you wanted?" he asked.

"Want to come and play football?" Zak grinned. "We've got a team."

"Sure," he smiled. "Goodbye Rach," he murmured as he left the room and closed the door. 

Ice and Joelle were already at the football match when Jamie arrived. His heart leapt as he saw her, as he remembered this was the day he was going to tell her how he felt about her. He didn't care about Ice. He could beat him to a pulp for all he cared. It would be worth it. 

"The games about to start," Zak pulled on Jamie's sleeve, diverting his gaze from the girl of his dreams. He turned his attention to the football match as Zak took the first kick and the ball sailed through the air. He was so engrossed in the game, using it to take his mind off what he was to do later, that he didn't notice Joelle sidle upto him and punch him playfully on the arm.

"Hi," she said. Jamie looked at her. She looked her usual gorgeous self despite the cold which was making her cheeks glow brightly.

"Hello," he replied shyly. What was wrong with him? He thought, he was never nervous around Joelle.

"Good game isn't it."

"Yeah I guess," he replied, still nervously. "Zak plays well," he commented.

"Maybe he could be a professional one day."

"I doubt it. Not in this world."

"You never know," she smiled warmly. 

"Joelle," Jamie said, turning to face her fully. "I've got something I want to say."

"Really?" she replied. "So have I actually."

"You start," Jamie said, wanting to put off what he had to say for as long as possible.

"I've realised something, and I felt you had a right to know. I've fallen in love. With Ice."


	7. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Jamie's facial expression changed so quickly that it would be impossible for anyone to decide whether it had changed at all. His mood changed just as swiftly, if not quicker. One minute he was full of happiness, the next despair. He was lost for words. He stood there in silence.

"Jamie?" Joelle asked. "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine," he replied, not able to hide the bitterness in his voice. "I'm perfectly fine," he repeated and stormed away. He didn't know where he was going. Didn't care. All he knew was that he had to be away from Joelle. He thought about heading home. He needed to be alone. Then he saw Ice out of the corner of his eye and changed his mind. The guy who had stole the girl he loved had to pay.

"Ice!" he shouted as he wandered up to the oblivious figure standing watching the football match.

"Hi," Ice said, confused for a minute before realising he'd seen this person before. "Er… Jamie isn't it." Jamie looked at him, contempt in his eyes. As he stood there he realised he had no idea what he was going to do. He wanted to hit him, see him bleed. But the fact was, he wasn't a violent person and however much he wanted to punch him he couldn't bring himself to do it. He realised there were tears trickling down his cheeks. He blushed, embarrassed and left Ice standing there alone, heading once again for home.

Jamie had done something he had promised he wouldn't do again. He was in Rachel's room, sitting on her bed with her diary in his hand. Tears were flowing down onto his face and smudging the ink his sister had written in all those years ago. He had to finish reading.

*Goodbye. Or is it? Will I watch you when I'm gone, watch you from heaven? Is it possible that I might not be let in? Will they keep me out because I'm so weak and pathetic? Maybe I'll be looking up at you on earth and wishing I was there with you. I wish I could stay. But I can't. I'm in hell already and this is the only way I have a chance to get out of it. So I am writing this to you, my brother, in the hope that you will find it and read, and understand. And I wait for the day when it is your time to go and you will join me.*

He had done it. He had finished the diary. That entry was followed by empty pages, a painful reminder of the fact that the hands which had written the diary would never write again. He took a pen from the bedside table and rubbed his hands together before beginning to write on the first blank page in Rachel's diary. It was his time.

"I'm going away," Ice said simply. "I want you to come with me, if you'd like to come that is."

"I thought you said you wanted to stay here?" she said, confused at his sudden change of mind.

"I was kidding myself. I'm used to travelling. I can't stay in one place," he paused. "Will you come with me?"

There was another pause. Joelle pondered in her mind. She'd always wanted to go travelling, even before the virus. Of course it would be different now but sometimes she wished she could be free, without responsibilities. But the problem was, she did have responsibilities. A lot of the younger kids on the estate relied on her for food. Without her, they would starve. But she loved Ice and wanted to go with him. In the end that was all that mattered.

"I'll come with you," she said solemnly. As soon as she saw Ice's reaction, the regret she had in her mind about her decision disappeared. He looked happier than he had ever done before, his eyes glowed and his whole face was just a ray of light.

"When will we leave?" she asked, her eyes never leaving his.

"Tomorrow," he replied. "After you go and apologise to Jamie."

"Apologise?" she was confused. "Apologise for what?"

"I get the feeling he's sitting at home nursing a broken heart. He loves you, in case you haven't noticed."

"Love?" she was astonished. She had never thought about anything more than friendship between them. "Are you sure?"

"The look he gave me when he left the football match told me all I needed to know. You need to make peace with him, or neither of you will be happy."

"That was what he was going to tell me…" she trailed off.

"Tell you?" he prompted.

"At the match, he said he had something to tell me. But I got my news out first," tears began to run down her face.

"News? What news?"

"That I was in love. With you." She looked at him through tearful eyes, and he took her in his arms and held her. She pulled away.

"I have to go and see him. Now." She stood up.

"OK," he said. He didn't try to stop her. "You go and talk to him."

She smiled at him, gave him a swift kiss on the lips and left the room, wiping the tears from her cheeks.


	8. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

"Jamie?" Joelle shouted as she entered his house. The door was open. That had made her smile, he had obviously taken no notice of the warning she had given him just a few days before. But that didn't matter now. The 'watcher' had been Ice, and there was no need for anyone to be scared of him. She certainly wasn't, she loved him. Love. That turned her thoughts back to the reason she was here. Had Jamie always loved her? Since the day she had arrived at her new house? She tried to remember. She couldn't recall any time when she had gotten the impression that he felt strongly about her. He'd been scared, she realised. Scared to tell her his true feelings. Would it have made any difference? If she had found out this before she had met Ice would it now be them who were leaving to go travelling? There was no point in asking herself these questions, she decided. It wouldn't make any difference now.

"Jamie," she shouted again. She realised she had been standing in the doorway for five minutes thinking. She continued into the house. Perhaps he wasn't in, she thought. Trust him to be out just when she needed him. 

 She headed for the stairs and began to climb them. They were creaking beneath her feet, they had always been like that. As she reached the top she noticed a door open in front of her that she had never seen open before. She knew which one it was. The one which said 'Rachel's Room' on a big plaque on the outside. She had never thought it appropriate to ask who Rachel was. Now she ventured forwards and into the room. Jamie was lying on the bed, asleep she realised. She smiled. He must have been exhausted to fall asleep like that. He'd been reading a book and it was lying open on his chest. She moved towards him and sat on the bed beside him, still smiling. He didn't stir. She looked down at his hands and then took one of them in hers. It was cold. She was confused. The house was warm despite the cold weather outside. Then she noticed it, it had slid off the bed and onto the floor. A bottle which had once held pills of some kind, which was now empty. She gasped.

"Jamie," she began to shake him. "Jamie, wake up!" She shook him over and over again, but it was too late. He had been dead for a long time before she had entered the room. She stood up, looked at him in desperation, shook him one last time and ran from the room, tears rolling down her face.

"Ice!!" Joelle shouted desperately as she ran into her house where she had left him only half an hour before. "Ice!! Help!!" 

Ice entered the room halfway through a yawn, and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "What is it? I was catching up on some sleep."

"It's Jamie," she said, tears still flowing. "I think he's dead!" she ran up to him and wrapped her arms round him so tightly he could hardly breathe.

He pulled away before speaking: "Dead?!" he exclaimed. "How?"

"There was an empty bottle of pills on the floor. I assume it was full before he got his hands on it."

"Oh my god Jo I'm so sorry." He took her in a hug once again as she broke down crying once again.

"Joelle!" a voice shouted. "Joelle!! Jamie won't wake up. He - " Joelle broke away from Ice as Zak ran into the room, terror in his eyes.

"I know," she put her arms around him. "I know," she repeated.

"He will be OK won't he?" Zak said innocently. Joelle didn't know what to say. How did she tell a seven year old boy that they guy he worshipped was dead.

"Jamie's gone away," Ice rescued her. "He's gone to stay in a better place. He said to tell you he loves you."

Zak looked confused, but was so awed by Ice that he nodded silently and gazed at him, tears coming to his eyes. 

"Has he gone to stay with my parents?" he asked. "Jamie said they'd gone to stay in a better place."

"Yes Zak," Joelle said. "He's with them right now," she said solemnly as she held the boy close to her chest and rubbed her fingers through his hair


	9. Chapter Eight

Just before the last chapter I have some thankyous'. Firstly, thankyou to Cloud for writing Jamie's letter to Joelle. Secondly to Bryan Adams for lending me the song, and finally, thanks to Confuse for hosting this story and all my others on her site, and to all my readers.

Chapter Eight

The house was silent. Joelle remembered a time when this house had been full of life. When kids would go running in and out of the door to get cookies and ice cream from Jamie's parents. Now the life was gone. An entire family wiped out. It was strange. She had been in this house alone so many time. But this time it was different. This time there was no one coming back. They were all gone. She sat on the sofa surrounded by the mess Jamie hadn't cleared up before he had died. She took something out of her pocket. The book which had been lying on Jamie's chest, open at the very page she had in front of her now.

*"Look into my eyes - you will see what you mean to me. Search your heart. Search your soul. And when you find me there you'll search no more. Don't tell me it's not worth trying for. You can't tell me it's not worth dying for. You know it's true. Everything I do. I do it for you." 

Joelle I don't know if you'll ever read what is in these pages but I want you to know that this song truly imitates what is in my heart. I've loved you since we first met but no matter how strong my feelings were I could never show them. I know you've found someone who you love and who loves you for who you are and I bear you no hatred or ill will but I believe It would be better if I was no longer here. I'm going to join my sister but know that I will always look down on you and my love for you will last forever no matter what you do you will always have a place in my heart..

Jamie*

As she read the last sentence a tear rolled down her cheek and dripped on the place where he had signed his name, smudging it and spreading black ink around, completely obscuring what was written there. She closed the book. She would read later what his sister had written all those years ago. Now she placed the book back in her pocket. She stood up. She had arrangements to make. Ice had suggested they give Jamie a proper funeral, and she agreed. Jamie had always wanted a good send off. And there was only one song that could possibly be played. Everything I do, I do it for you. The song that had been among the last things he had said. She sung the song in her head softly, more tears rolling down her cheeks and dripping onto the floor.

"Goodbye Jamie," she said softly. "I love you."


End file.
